Personal Transformation through Bravery, Strength and Courage

Have you ever noticed when you give advice or try to inspire someone you are often really talking to yourself?  Last week, I gave a speech on how to make it through and help others make it through profound personal transformation.  I believe personal transformation empowers us to change and save the world.  I also know it is extremely challenging.  In these times of instant gratification and a pill for every woe, something as time and energy intensive as true personal transformation may seem hopeless.

As Gandhi said, if we want to change the world, we have to be the change.  So, here is what I told myself and what I’m telling myself now.   It is important to acknowledge the victories you have already achieved.  Personal transformation is not a one-time good deal.  For most of us, the opportunities arise many times in our lives.  I chose to transform myself from a victim of childhood abuse to an empowered advocate for children’s rights and to break the cycle of violence within my own family.  I chose to transform myself from someone without purpose and direction to someone who has found and embraced her purpose in life and is working to help others accomplish the same.

-And it has been HARD.

I have noticed when things become difficult, it is helpful to have some kind of mascot or symbol to look to for encouragement.  If I were to ask you what creature best symbolizes the bravery, strength, and courage it takes to achieve personal transformation, what would you say?  Some may say the lion, ‘mighty king of the jungle, or the wolf–‘lord of the forests’, or the shark–‘master of the sea’, or even the eagle–‘ruler of the sky’.  If you were to ask me what creature best symbolizes the bravery, strength and courage it takes to make it through radical personal transformation, I would say the butterfly.

The butterfly’s story is not the sweet and gentle story you may remember hearing from your school days.  It’s a difficult, arduous and, at times, traumatic  journey.  It follows what Joseph Campbell, noted mythologist, lecturer and author of The Hero with a Thousand Faces, called the hero’s journey.  First, there is the call to change when the caterpillar knows, despite what it may wish otherwise, that it must change. -And this takes great bravery.  Then, there is the actual change which means the complete dissolution of its former self and transformation into something new. -And this requires tremendous strength.  Finally, the time comes for the butterfly to emerge from its cocoon and come back into the world with its gifts. -And this requires deep courage.

As I’m sure you all remember learning in school, a butterfly begins its life as a caterpillar. It spends this initial part of its life eating and growing. Some caterpillars grow so much that they shed their skin six times! This is also how we begin our lives. We learn how to exist in our environments, taking in new experiences and growing. We don’t question what is going on inside of us because we are focused on learning and absorbing what is going on outside of us. We’re growing but we are not transforming. We simply exist. –And this is okay because we are learning how the world works. That is part of our survival—knowing our place in the world and how it all fits together. But one day…one day it is just not enough. One day, we want something more. Just as the caterpillar feels the call to change, we sense it too. We may not understand why, but we know in our gut that there is something more. –That we are something more. We may not know the how or the what of it, but we cannot deny the call once we have felt it. It can be a scary and frightening thing. Just as the caterpillar was once content with eating and growing, we had comfortable lives that we knew and understood, and now…now there is something calling us to give up that life and change. This call to the unknown is terrifying because, as Buckminster Fuller, inventor and futurist said, “there is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.” We cannot even begin to imagine what is in store for us, yet we cannot ignore the call—the call to transform and this takes great bravery. Embracing the call to change, to truly transform, to face our fears and do the thing that must be done takes a brave heart.  True transformation also takes incredible strength.

Maya Angelou, author and poet, said, “We delight in the beauty of a butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”  Returning again to your school days, do you remember your imaginings of the cute little caterpillar getting sleepy and wrapping itself in a comfy cocoon to take a little nap? -And then it woke up—and voila’!  It’s now happily flitting about flower to flower! Friends, I hate to burst your bubble but this is not even remotely close to what happens when a butterfly begins its transformation.  Once the butterfly heeds the call to change and wraps itself in its cocoon, it completely dissolves.  That’s right, folks: caterpillar  soup.  If you were to cut open a cocoon, and please don’t, before the butterfly has finished it’s transformation, an oozy liquid  would gush out.  You see, there are these cells—imaginal cells—that begin to arise when the caterpillar dissolves.  These cells are important because these are the cells that hold the key to the caterpillar soup transforming into a butterfly.  But, it’s not an easy transformation and it takes a lot of strength.  You see, as the imaginal cells work to transform the caterpillar soup into a butterfly, the remaining caterpillar cells fight the imaginal cells.  The caterpillar, the old way of being, fights off the change over and over again.  But the imaginal cells just keep coming back, regenerating until finally they have enough numbers to achieve a tipping point and overcome the resistance so the transformation may begin.  Think of the times in your life when you have attempted to bring about personal transformation.  Although your will was there and your intentions were clear, it was still hard.  You heard the call and tried to heed it  but the forces of habit and inertia required great strength to overcome.  You may also have fought to overcome self-doubt, anxiety, low self-confidence and low self-esteem.  Sometimes, it must have felt like you took two steps forward only to take one step back but that is okay!  -Because one step forward and two steps back is still ONE STEP FORWARD.  This type of change is not for the weak of heart, it requires force of will and strength of intention.  Yet, even when we have made the change, the trials are still not over because then we must have the courage to go back into the world.        

Again, I invite you to return to our childhood imaginings of a happy little butterfly emerging from its cocoon and joyfully flitting flower to flower in the warm sunshine.  –And again, I must shatter this illusion because it does not happen like that.  When the butterfly emerges from its cocoon, it is still fragile.  Its wings are wet and it is weak and tired.  It is very vulnerable.  So, the butterfly takes time to allow its wings to dry.  It gently begins moving its wings to warm up.  It allows itself to adjust to its change and prepares a new life.  Think of the times you have radically changed something in your life.  A time when you mustered all your bravery and your strength and you  made a significant change.  You may have been so excited to share it with the world that you rushed out to announce the news and show the change only to have it criticized, belittled or condemned.  How did you feel?  How did it impact you?  Perhaps, something you were so happy about and so proud of then seemed small, trivial or silly–insignificant.  I encourage you to allow time for yourself and others to settle into a new way of being.  Allowing ourselves and others the time and space to embrace a new way of being is what gives us the courage to take our new and diverse gifts out into the world—to brave the gusts and the storms, the critics and the naysayers.  Change is not for the cowardly; it takes deep courage to share our gifts with the world and the world desperately needs our individual gifts.  As the proverb says, “just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”  We transform the world when we transform ourselves.

We all have the capacity to continue growing and changing.  As you go through life, I hope you sometimes think of and are inspired by the butterfly’s story.  I am not referring to the sweet and romanticized story you hear in kindergarten about cute, fuzzy caterpillars taking a nap and waking up as carefree  butterflies.  Instead, remember the real story of profound transformation through bravery, strength and courage.  When the call to transform arises, be brave.  Lean into the unknown and have faith.  When your whole world is turned upside down, be strong and remember no true and lasting change is easy. As Stephanie Pace Marshall, noted author and educator said, “adding wings to caterpillars does not create butterflies; it creates awkward, dysfunctional caterpillars.  Butterflies are created through transformation.”  Finally, when you have made the change, give yourself the gift of time and space to become firm in the change so you may have the courage to share your gift with the world.  Be Brave.  Stay Strong.  Have Courage.  We can transform the world through transforming ourselves.  We are all heroes and we will save the world.